Post by Hilarie Burton on Oct 25, 2006 19:56:48 GMT -5
Filles French magazine interview - Her life, friendship, and Chad
"You know Chad, well everyone just found out what happened [pause], sometimes there are people who you fall in love with for different reasons, and I loved Chad, and he took me for a ride, but he tore me down, in the end. When I found out about him and Paris, it was so damn shocking; I mean I don't really want to allude on the details of what exactly followed after I found out. I will say it was the most hurtful, and wrongful thing that anyone has ever done to me. I mean people knew about the rumors being true, I was in the dark unlike many people surrounding my life. It was honestly embarrassing, and I remember just feeling so out of place with Chad, my own goddamn husband. I really blamed a lot of it on myself. That is what any normal woman whose husband is having an ongoing affair would do. I said to myself what if I had bigger boobs, skinnier thighs, that's all I kept telling myself. My self esteem level went from being secure with Chad to being almost nothing. Its not just about looks, just everything I felt secure and loved, then just in a blink of an eye it was torn to shreds. People will say so many stories of what happened or lead up to the split. It was kind of tricky considering
we worked together. Chad left, our home, because he new that it would be best for me. No one at work had a clue. Around late September Chad came over and we just talked about things, and decided it would be best if we split. Looking back it hurts but that's why I can look back, if that makes sense. Chad really did hurt the hell out of me, but I still have that small place in my heart for him. "
on kenzie:
"You know to be honest I get asked about it so much. Its not that I don't think that Kenzie is a good person, it just hurts sometimes to think about it. Not as much as it did in December when I found out through a friend of their relationship. I've kind of just let it go, and fly out of my mind. "
what do you think of the age diffence
"I know what you want me to say. [pause] Its a little eyebrow raising for anyone, but Chad loves her. I hope she is happy. Thats about all I can say or care to say on that matter."
new relationship:
"Well lets see I am dating so many people right now[laughs]. No just joking. I will say the man that I love is definitely at the top of my list and hopefully will always be. its funny, how things happen.
What drew you to him:
"Well we were good friends. He really helped me a lot about Chad and all that [Censored] that happened. He is caring and very funny. Eventually he just asked me out on a date around late April. Love is great. He is healing, crazy, sweet, manly, caring, and everything that I love. I take good care of him when I am not in Wilmington. "
Why have you kept it so private (no name):
"I learned my lesson with my former relationship. It is what keeps my personal life and professional life separate. Another reason is he hates the idea of sharing it with the world. He is a very down to earth man. On a random day I may be married and no one will see it coming [laughs].
Does he deal with Chad:
"Well he is protective of me. You know in a relationship you have to be honest so he pretty much knows everything that happened with Chad and I. He likes to ask if Chad treats me right or whatever. He also just trusts me with it."
What was it like sez life after seperation:
"Funny, no."
that's it.
what's been interesting for you lately:
"Well, thats hard to narrow down. I take so much interest in many things. Even in very random things. But i will say my boyfriend is a musician. He doesn't do it for a career but he is pretty good. He plays acoustic guitar, base, and drums. He really likes to make up random songs for me, which I love. My friend Tyler Hilton came over the other day and played guitar and sang with him and it was fun. So I though to myself maybe I should learn how to play. So I figure while my man is away filming I will try to teach myself or ask Joy to help me out. That's what is interesting to me and of course books. This time I will read a book on playing guitar, you see applying what it love together.[laughs] .
Do you like living in Wilmington:
"Yes, for work, it's great. But right now I would like to live
anywhere that my man is living. It's really hard sometimes to not be near him like in a more normal relationship. Yes he is only an
airplane away. You know what though, he loves it here. I hide him up in my big old house and make dinner for him. That is something that I am trying to take up. I am very good at learning and so anytime he's at home with me I call his mom up for a recipe, run to the store and go home and bake. It's so fun. "
Who are you closest with in the cast:
"Well, i have to say more than one. Bevin is my roommate, and that's fun. So I am close to her. Lee is a very close friend and he is so sweet. I will say that Hil and I have a fun friendship, but Joy and I are very close. She and I can open up about many things. She gives me good advice and we both just are very random girls. We generally are all pretty close. Paul is a sweetie to."
Do you honestly get along:
"Yes. I mean we sometimes get ancy but that's cuz we work very tiring hours. We have a really fun time out here. But in any situation if you see our actions with each other having fun at dinner, are different when we are at work. On Chad, he and I are professionals. "
When have you let your personal life effect a scene:
"Wow that s a tough one. I will say, probably not very many. I really work hard at not letting my personal life invade the work place. I will say the lines "I love you.. and probably always will" are not one of them. I have read what some people say about that. "
What random things do you like to do:
"Umm, walk. I love waking up or if I cant sleep I will literally go
outside and walk my dogs in the weather cold or hot. I just love that peaceful feeling."
Where do you get your kindness:
"That's funny! From God. I don't know I just don't like to hurt
others. and enjoy being kind its just in me. "
What about Paris:
"Hmm... Paris is a beautiful place that I have always wanted to
visit."
Are you in love:
"yes, not only in love I love. I don't know where I should take my
man on a date [laughing], I though about Paris, but he thought my house was better.[laughing] . "
Where would you like to be down the road:
"Married, have kids, just go wherever my husband leads me. Have a stable career. Yet time with my kids and husband. Just a normal life."
"You know Chad, well everyone just found out what happened [pause], sometimes there are people who you fall in love with for different reasons, and I loved Chad, and he took me for a ride, but he tore me down, in the end. When I found out about him and Paris, it was so damn shocking; I mean I don't really want to allude on the details of what exactly followed after I found out. I will say it was the most hurtful, and wrongful thing that anyone has ever done to me. I mean people knew about the rumors being true, I was in the dark unlike many people surrounding my life. It was honestly embarrassing, and I remember just feeling so out of place with Chad, my own goddamn husband. I really blamed a lot of it on myself. That is what any normal woman whose husband is having an ongoing affair would do. I said to myself what if I had bigger boobs, skinnier thighs, that's all I kept telling myself. My self esteem level went from being secure with Chad to being almost nothing. Its not just about looks, just everything I felt secure and loved, then just in a blink of an eye it was torn to shreds. People will say so many stories of what happened or lead up to the split. It was kind of tricky considering
we worked together. Chad left, our home, because he new that it would be best for me. No one at work had a clue. Around late September Chad came over and we just talked about things, and decided it would be best if we split. Looking back it hurts but that's why I can look back, if that makes sense. Chad really did hurt the hell out of me, but I still have that small place in my heart for him. "
on kenzie:
"You know to be honest I get asked about it so much. Its not that I don't think that Kenzie is a good person, it just hurts sometimes to think about it. Not as much as it did in December when I found out through a friend of their relationship. I've kind of just let it go, and fly out of my mind. "
what do you think of the age diffence
"I know what you want me to say. [pause] Its a little eyebrow raising for anyone, but Chad loves her. I hope she is happy. Thats about all I can say or care to say on that matter."
new relationship:
"Well lets see I am dating so many people right now[laughs]. No just joking. I will say the man that I love is definitely at the top of my list and hopefully will always be. its funny, how things happen.
What drew you to him:
"Well we were good friends. He really helped me a lot about Chad and all that [Censored] that happened. He is caring and very funny. Eventually he just asked me out on a date around late April. Love is great. He is healing, crazy, sweet, manly, caring, and everything that I love. I take good care of him when I am not in Wilmington. "
Why have you kept it so private (no name):
"I learned my lesson with my former relationship. It is what keeps my personal life and professional life separate. Another reason is he hates the idea of sharing it with the world. He is a very down to earth man. On a random day I may be married and no one will see it coming [laughs].
Does he deal with Chad:
"Well he is protective of me. You know in a relationship you have to be honest so he pretty much knows everything that happened with Chad and I. He likes to ask if Chad treats me right or whatever. He also just trusts me with it."
What was it like sez life after seperation:
"Funny, no."
that's it.
what's been interesting for you lately:
"Well, thats hard to narrow down. I take so much interest in many things. Even in very random things. But i will say my boyfriend is a musician. He doesn't do it for a career but he is pretty good. He plays acoustic guitar, base, and drums. He really likes to make up random songs for me, which I love. My friend Tyler Hilton came over the other day and played guitar and sang with him and it was fun. So I though to myself maybe I should learn how to play. So I figure while my man is away filming I will try to teach myself or ask Joy to help me out. That's what is interesting to me and of course books. This time I will read a book on playing guitar, you see applying what it love together.[laughs] .
Do you like living in Wilmington:
"Yes, for work, it's great. But right now I would like to live
anywhere that my man is living. It's really hard sometimes to not be near him like in a more normal relationship. Yes he is only an
airplane away. You know what though, he loves it here. I hide him up in my big old house and make dinner for him. That is something that I am trying to take up. I am very good at learning and so anytime he's at home with me I call his mom up for a recipe, run to the store and go home and bake. It's so fun. "
Who are you closest with in the cast:
"Well, i have to say more than one. Bevin is my roommate, and that's fun. So I am close to her. Lee is a very close friend and he is so sweet. I will say that Hil and I have a fun friendship, but Joy and I are very close. She and I can open up about many things. She gives me good advice and we both just are very random girls. We generally are all pretty close. Paul is a sweetie to."
Do you honestly get along:
"Yes. I mean we sometimes get ancy but that's cuz we work very tiring hours. We have a really fun time out here. But in any situation if you see our actions with each other having fun at dinner, are different when we are at work. On Chad, he and I are professionals. "
When have you let your personal life effect a scene:
"Wow that s a tough one. I will say, probably not very many. I really work hard at not letting my personal life invade the work place. I will say the lines "I love you.. and probably always will" are not one of them. I have read what some people say about that. "
What random things do you like to do:
"Umm, walk. I love waking up or if I cant sleep I will literally go
outside and walk my dogs in the weather cold or hot. I just love that peaceful feeling."
Where do you get your kindness:
"That's funny! From God. I don't know I just don't like to hurt
others. and enjoy being kind its just in me. "
What about Paris:
"Hmm... Paris is a beautiful place that I have always wanted to
visit."
Are you in love:
"yes, not only in love I love. I don't know where I should take my
man on a date [laughing], I though about Paris, but he thought my house was better.[laughing] . "
Where would you like to be down the road:
"Married, have kids, just go wherever my husband leads me. Have a stable career. Yet time with my kids and husband. Just a normal life."
NH/JL's
